Curl Her Toes

Men's Fitness, June 2003

Can't Miss Tips to Turn Your Sex Life into a Mature-Audiences-Only Flick

By J.L. Sullivan

You're lying in bed after a job well done, thinking you're at the top of your game. "This couldn't possibly get any better, could it?" you ask. "Of course not," she replies. But there's a look in her eyes that says maybe it could.

Even if she doesn't say there's something missing, she may be thinking it. That's the thing about sex; even when it's great, there's still room for improvement--if not for you, then, just possibly, for her. Sometimes the problem is that she won't tell you what she wants ... or maybe she did tell you but you were a little too involved at the time to pay attention. In the interest of keeping your relationship well heated, we went to top female "sexperts" to find out what bedroom moves you can make to thrill a woman most--while maximizing your own pleasure as well. Here's what they had to say.

Sex and relationships writer Sari Locker is the author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex:

Sari Locker's Tip: Sometimes she doesn't want much foreplay. "In the course of a relationship, there will probably be times when a woman is turned on and ready without needing a lot of kissing and touching first. How can you tell? If she's eagerly attending to your happy parts more than the rest of your body or pulling you straight into a sexual position, it's pretty clear. If you aren't sure, ask her."

Sari Locker's Tip: Don't assume she'll request what she wants. "Many women are shy about asking for oral sex, but really do want it. If she doesn't ask, give it a try anyway. Kiss your way from her neck all the way down her chest, stomach and thighs, then go for it. If she likes it, she'll be happy to let you keep going. In the unlikely event that she doesn't, or if she just isn't in the mood, she'll be sure to stop you. Or she may want you to do it for a while, then move on to regular intercourse."

Sari Locker's Tip: Do it in the dark. "Men often say they like to make love with the lights on, and women sometimes find that adds excitement as well. But because so many women have body-image issues, she may feel more open to letting herself go and trying new things in the dark. Rather than feeling as if you're missing something by not being able to see her, enjoy the pleasures that her sense of freedom can bring both of you. And if you want her to feel totally uninhibited, blindfold yourself and let her go wild. You can create a blindfold from anything that's around your bedroom, from your tie or boxers to her silk scarf or tights."

Sari Locker's Tip: Have fun with mirrors. "If she is secure with her body, having sex in front of a mirror or two can be very exciting for both of you. If you don't have a large mirror that's aimed at your bed, you can buy an inexpensive full-length mirror, prop it up against a wall, and have at it on the floor in front of the mirror. This can be much sexier than videotaping, which often creates a fairly unattractive memento of your sexual experience. With mirrors, you can change positions and angles if what you see is not turning you on--it's easy to move around to find an attractive view."

(Note: This is an abridged version of this article.)